Author Archives: LaJoi Royston

It’s an age old debate. Does it matter if your students like you? Ask any teacher, anywhere, and you will most likely get answers split down the middle. In Aaron Podolner’s book, “How Would You Handle It: Hundreds of Answers for Classroom Teachers”, this very question was asked. One teacher responded with the following:

“Do you want your students to like you? The answer is yes, but with a qualifier. It matters why you want your students to like you… If they like you because you genuinely like them and show a real interest in their growth, then they will also respect you and work hard for you. Students do not learn because of teachers, they learn for teachers.”¹

While it’s been viewed as mostly a personal choice, research seems to suggest that it is important that students like their teachers. The teacher in Mr. Podolner’s book may have been onto something with her statement that students don’t learn because of teachers, but rather for them. Improving students’ relationships with their teachers have not only academic implications, but social implications as well.

Why it Matters that Your Students Like You: The Research
The brain is a social organ and close relationships, such as a positive student-teacher relationship, encourage learning, in part, because they promote a positive learning environment². From birth, we learn from our interactions with other people; this includes, family, friends and yes, teachers. Positive teacher-student relationships in the school setting have positive implications not only for students, but for teachers and the school climate as a whole.⁷

For this reason, students who are in classrooms with teachers that they like and have a close relationship with may learn more. For teachers, teaching students who like you makes their job easier. Teachers who experience close relationships with students report that their students have better attendance, cooperate more, are more engaged and are more self-directed³.

These little things can make a big difference.

In a recent study done in Germany⁴, kindergartners were shown a picture of different teachers before solving a problem. Students performed faster when they were shown a picture of a teacher they had a close relationship with before solving the problem versus a teacher they didn’t have a relationship with. While this study shows the direct effect of students thinking about teachers that they are close to prior to solving a problem, it also gets at a deeper message.

When students have positive relationships with their teachers, it affects how they view school and how engaged they are. Students who have these kind of relationships have more positive feelings about school, are more engaged, and in turn, are often higher achievers⁵. Think for a minute about any high achieving student you know. More than likely, this student enjoys school, or at least likes it. Now, think about that students’ relationship with his/her teachers. I’m sure at least one teacher that student has a positive relationship with will come to mind. While positive student teacher relationships can result in more engagement, and higher grades among students, negative relationships can have the opposite effect⁶.

Positive student-teacher relationships also have the power to positively improve school climate, something that can affect everyone involved in a school. School is, in a very general way, student and staff perception of their school. We can think of it this way: Students who have positive relationships with their teachers tend to be more engaged. Students who are more engaged typically are more likely to succeed. Being successful in school leads to positive educational experiences which in turn, creates a positive perception of school. Of course there are exceptions and limitations to this logic and not all students, teachers, and schools are the same – but the research suggests it’s worth paying attention to. Teachers play a huge role because they can very well shift the climate of their school by building stronger relationships with their students.

What Do Positive Student-Teacher Relationships Look Like? And How Can You Build Them?

Positive student-teacher relationships are characterized by low-conflict, feelings of closeness and support and independence². Positive student teacher relationships benefit both the students and the teachers. Students feel safe, supported and cared for, while teachers feel competent and important. Here are a few more examples of what positive student teacher relationships look like:

“A high school student chooses to share the news that he recently got a part in a community play with his teacher because he knows that his teacher will show genuine interest in his success.

A fourth grade boy who is struggling in math shows comfort in admitting to his teacher that he needs help with multiplying and dividing fractions even if most of the students in the class have moved beyond this work.

A middle school girl experiences bullying from other students and approaches her social studies teacher to discuss it because she trusts that the teacher will listen and help without making her feel socially inept.”³

While the importance of student teacher relationships seems rather straight forward, building relationships with students isn’t always so easy. In most cases, our students who could benefit from these relationships the most are the hardest students to deal with. Below you’ll find a few tips I’ve found helpful in building relationships with my students.

Note: These tips are rooted in my personal experiences, not peer-reviewed research.

1. Sincerity
When building a relationship with your students it’s important to be sincere. Ask yourself why you want to have a better relationship with the student. If your reason is simply because you have him/her in your class and you don’t want it to be a miserable experience for both of you all year, be honest about that. In my experience, students have an amazing ability to detect when someone is not genuine. Keep in mind that even if you are approaching a student with sincerity, he/she may have his/her defenses up, especially if he/she has not had many positive relationships with adults. Keeping your intentions pure and being honest with the student about why you want to get to know him/her and conveying that you truly care are important first steps.

2. Consistency
This may be the most important factor. In any relationship, consistency is key. Showing your students that you are going to show up and be there for them every day by actually doing it says a lot. Conveying the message that you care over and over again may eventually reach even the most stubborn students.

3. High Expectations
A hard lesson I learned in my early years of teaching is the importance of having and keeping high expectations. If you truly care about your students, you hold them to a high standard because anything less would be a disservice to them. I used to think that taking it easy on my students by accepting excuses when they didn’t do their homework, or turning a blind eye when they occasionally misbehaved, was showing that I cared. I’ve learned that in holding high expectations of my students I’m conveying the message that I believe you are capable of doing something great and so, I’m not going to accept anything less than greatness from you.

Where to Go from Here
While there are great implications for having a positive relationship with your students, the fact of the matter is that it’s not possible to have a great relationship with every student. As teachers, what’s most important is that we hold every student to high expectations and put forth an honest effort to show support and genuine interest in as many of our students as we can. While we may not have amazing relationships with every student, the ones we really take the time to nurture can make all the difference in the world.

 

References & Further Reading

1. Podolner, A. S., Matuch, J. B., Nemeth , M. M., Royston, L. S., …Shah, N. (2014). How We Handle It: Hundreds of Answers from Classroom Teachers. [Book]
2. Cozolino, L. (2013). Nine Things Educators Need to Know About the Brain. [Book Excerpt]
3. Riff-Kaufman, S. & Sandilos, L. (n.d.). Improving Students’ Relationships with Teachers to Provide Essential Supports for Learning. [Guide]
4. Ahnert L,Milatz A, Kappler G, Schneiderwind J, and Fischer R. (2013). The impact of teacher-child relationships on child cognitive performance as explored by a priming paradigm. Dev Psychol. 49(3):554-67. (Paper)
5. Van Maele, D., & Van Houtte, M. (2011). The quality of school life: Teacher-student trust relationships and the organizational school context.Social Indicators Research, 100, 85–100. (Paper)
6. Pianta, R., Hamre, B., & Allen, J. (2012). Teacher-student relationships and engagement: Conceptualizing, measuring, and improving the capacity of classroom interactions. In S. L. Christenson, A. L. Reschly, & C. Wylie (Eds.),Handbook of research on student engagement (pp. 365–386). New York: Springer. (Book Chapter)
7. Larson, A. (2014). How Student-Teacher Relationships Influence School Climate: A Literature Review. (Review)

I recently watched a Ted Talk¹ by Dr. Nadine Burke Harris where she addressed the effects of childhood trauma on health. Her 16 minute talk discussed how trauma leads to higher risks of heart disease, early death, and even lung cancer. At the heart of her talk was the Adverse Childhood Experiences Study², a groundbreaking research project that examined the relationship between the exposure to different types of trauma during childhood, and adult health outcomes. Listening to the passionate doctor speak about the life long implications of childhood trauma caused me to immediately think of the students I serve on a daily basis. If the exposure to childhood trauma had such dire implications for health later in life, what kind of effects were these experiences having on my students right now?

Urban Youth and Trauma

It’s no secret that urban youth, particularly minority urban youth, are exposed to higher rates of violence than in other areas³. One study found that 80% of “inner-city kids” has experienced one or more traumatic life events⁴. Recent studies done in urban hospitals have found that as many as 4 in 10 victims of violent crimes displayed many of the same symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as Vietnam War veterans. When put into perspective, this makes sense. War veterans are put into areas where their lives are constantly in danger. They may see their comrades killed right before their eyes, and then, once the war is over, they are sent home, where they are seemingly safe but they can’t immediately put their defense down. In the same way, young people who are repeatedly exposed to traumatic events may feel like they are in a warzone since, like soldiers, they are in a state where their safety is a constantly questioned. Like soldiers, even when put into seemingly safe environments, their defenses are up.

Different Types of Stress

As an educator, I’m often stressed. I always have more papers than I have time to grade, more parents to call than I can manage, lessons that need to be planned, data that needs to be analyzed and the list goes on. While I’ve become numb to the stress that my job entails, the everyday stress of being a teacher does not produce the kind of stress that a traumatic event does. Depending on the situation, your brain produces positive, tolerable or toxic stress responses. There are several different types of stress and how your brain and body reacts to each of them is different. Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child⁵ defines three types of stress responses as follows:

• Positive stress responses are a necessary part of development. They are characterized by brief increases in heart rate and elevations of hormone levels. Some situations that might trigger a positive stress response are the first day of school or getting a shot at the doctor’s office.
• Tolerable stress responses cause the body to react a bit stronger, the heart rate increases even more and hormone levels are higher. Events such as losing a loved one, or a natural disaster can cause this response in children. The severity of this stress response is directly correlated to the presence of supportive adults to help the child adapt.
• Toxic stress responses can occur with the experience of prolonged traumatic events, such as abuse (physical and emotional), neglect, or the exposure to violence without the support of an adult. Toxic stress responses cause the most severe reactions. This kind of prolonged activation of the stress response system can disrupt the development of brain functioning.

The stress that most people deal with on a daily basis most likely causes positive or tolerable stress responses. While sometimes uncomfortable, you are physiologically able to deal with this kind of stress. Traumatic events such as divorce, can cause a toxic stress response in children if they don’t have the support of a caring adult to help them navigate the situation. Neglect, abuse and household dysfunction are all types of traumatic experiences that can cause the body’s stress management system to be in overdrive. It’s important to note that the key factor that results in a toxic stress response is time. The dangers are greatest when children are faced with theses traumatic situations over extended periods of time, without a strong support system to help them get through it.

Implications for Educators

Not every student experiencing traumatic events will experience a toxic stress response, but it’s important for educators to be aware of this risk. One possible manifestation of such exposure is PTSD. Students suffering from PTSD are at risk for a plethora of health concerns as noted in Dr. Burke-Harris’ TED Talk, but aside from their health, PTSD has other implications. Children suffering from PTSD often have lower grade point averages and reading abilities, more missed days of school, and decreased high school graduation rates⁶. As educators, this is where we can make a difference. Knowing the signs and having strategies to help our students be successful can make a huge difference. Certain behaviors in a classroom setting may signify that a student is suffering from PTSD. Students should be referred to the school’s social worker if you suspect he/she is suffering from PTSD. While not all teachers are equipped to help students dealing with PTSD, there are steps that we can all take to help our students be successful in school.

What to look for and what to do about it⁷

1. Student is overly aggressive with other students.
If a student has an overly unexpected response to a situation in the classroom, (e.g. getting very angry in a situation that does not seem to warrant such a reaction), it’s important to remain calm. Modeling calm behavior in your tone and body language can make a huge difference in how a student reacts. When a student is in “defense mode” it is best to not engage with the student in a way that could cause more aggression. Give the student time to cool off and then address the situation later to prevent escalation.
2. Student seems withdrawn, sad or distracted in class.
Following a traumatic experience, it is very common for people to experience emotional and social isolation. This is something that can occur subconsciously without the student even realizing they are doing it. Simply checking in on the student and asking how he/she is doing is an important step. The student will need to rebuild his/her support system. Encourage the student to work with friends on group projects and to take responsibility in the classroom. These kinds of activities allow students to feel they have the support of consistent adults, in this case teachers, in their lives; a key to coping with traumatic events for children.
3. Student is engaging in self-destructive behaviors or showing signs of depression.
If you ever suspect a student is hurting him/herself, you should contact your school social worker immediately. Students who are suffering from depression should also be referred to a social worker. While wanting to help our students is natural, it’s just as important to know when something is too big for us to handle.

The Power of Resilience

While the topic of trauma and young people can seem disheartening, it’s important to remember that you do not have to be a psychologist to be a positive support system in your students’ lives. While trauma does have adverse effects on our youth, they can overcome, and we can help. As educators, it’s important that we educate ourselves on topics that affect the lives of our students. Teachers especially can play an important role in helping their students prevail through tough situations. We may not be able to control what happens to our students outside of our classrooms, but we can control how we react to the consequences; and for some students, that could make all the difference.

 

References & Further Reading

1. Burke-Harris, Nadine. (2015). How childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime. Ted Conferences. [Ted Talk]
2. Felitti, V. J., & Anda, R. F., et al. (1997) The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. [Study Report].
3. Roberts, A. L., Gilman, S.E., Breslau, J., Breslau, N., and Koenen, K.C. (2011). Race/ethnic differences in exposure to traumatic events, development of post-traumatic stress disorder, and treatment-seeking for post-traumatic stress disorder in the United States. Psychological Medicine, 41, pp 71-83. [Paper]
4. Collins, K., Connors, K., Donohue, A., Gardner, S., Goldblatt, E., Hayward, A., Kiser, L., Strieder, F. Thompson, E. (2010). Understanding the impact of trauma and urban poverty on family systems: Risks, resilience, and interventions. Baltimore, MD: Family Informed Trauma Treatment Center. [White Paper]
5. Center for the Developing Child (2015). Key Concepts: Toxic Stress. [Article]
6. Kataoka, S., Langley, A., Wong, M., Baweja, S., & Stein, B. (2012). Responding to Students with PTSD in Schools.Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 21(1), 119–x. [Paper]
7. Minnesota’s Association for Children’s Mental Health. (n.d.) Children’s Mental Health Fact Sheet for the Classroom: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. [Classroom Resource]